Your partner may have similar feelings. It’s normal for both of you to feel like this. Your first pregnancy is a very important event. It will change your life and change can be frightening even if it’s something you’ve been looking forward to.

Money problems may be nagging at you – the loss of an income for a while, extra expenses for the baby and, if your partner returns to work,
the cost of childcare.

You may be worrying that your home isn’t right or that you’ll feel obliged to stay in a job you don’t like. Some men feel left out. Your partner’s attention will be on what’s happening inside her and she may want you to pay a lot more attention to her needs than usual.

You may not have realised how much you relied on her to make you feel cared for and now that her attention is elsewhere you may feel quite lonely. Your loneliness may be increased if your partner doesn’t want to make
love, although some women find sex more enjoyable than ever. It varies from person to person.

There’s usually no medical reason to avoid sex, but keep in mind:

• her breasts in the early weeks may be extremely painful;

• if there’s any bleeding or pain avoid intercourse (and consult your doctor);

• make sure your partner is comfortable – you may need to try different positions as the pregnancy progresses.

If she’s not interested in sex, try to find other ways of being close, but do talk about it. If she feels that you’re trying to persuade her to do something she doesn’t want, she may withdraw completely leaving both of you lonely. Some men find it hard to make love during pregnancy.

Resource: The Baby Book